Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
