You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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