Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
