So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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