3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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