Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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