I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize