I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
