I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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