i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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