Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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