He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
