i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
