THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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