So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
