i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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