after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
