forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
