oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
