your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
