xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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