Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
