ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
