So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
