69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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