She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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