yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
