I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
