remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
