I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
