So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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