Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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