This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
