glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
