I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
