I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
