I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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