i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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