thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
