i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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