i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
