wat bout pragnant strippers??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my being single is dangerous.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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