yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
