Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
