is your mom at the bar?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
