I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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