my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am spending my child support on dildos
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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