yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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