remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
