whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
