ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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