this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
