Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
