you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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