Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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