I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
