You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
