im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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