this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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