Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize