Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
